Breaking News : Criminally Thanksgiving

The Thanksgiving update has arrived, including the Thanksgiving store update & gifts. Already some QQing is going on about the new criminal debuff from raiders, new players’ cries and shouts echo around Salem caused by the loss of newly obtained items.
Will our thanksgiving be as happy as it should be? We’ll find out soon enough!
(Make sure you play on November 22nd to receive gifts.)

Breaking News : New Towns Open

Long awaited updates have arrived in Salem Beta.
A GUI overhaul and two new towns, Jamestown and Roanoke, have been established, along with quite a few minor changes. The rumour says that there will be another official Beta-key give-away starting tomorrow.

Check out the latest updates and send us nice reports and news for the next issue!
Announcement thread

Also, loftar is expecting all three servers to be crashed by the time he wakes up tomorrow. Dedicated pilgrims, don’t disappoint him!

Roanoke Centre ~ Screenshot by A Farmer (とある農家)

Halloween Celebration in Salem!

Players gathered around in Boston in order to celebrate the first Halloween ever in Salem Beta. They decorated Boston Centre with harvested pumpkins, skeletons, and other various items, where they proceeded to party for hours.

The party host, colesie aka JordanColes, said “Big thank you to everyone who showed up and for these two for contributing pumpkins, masks, and the cauldron. Really helped it liven things up.”

Unfortunately, it seems that there are those who are envious of other people having fun and have to ruin the fun of others.

Darwoth and Makestro were these envious souls tonight. They arrived to the party, not to celebrate, but to try and ruin the fun of others. They got in the way of fellow pilgrims, stole the decorations, and attempted to bully the owner of the cauldron, who had kindly rented it out for this occasion. Chat logs have been posted of these two bullies, along with pictures of them “proudly” destroying the cauldron. It is unfortunate that the only way these two can attract attention is by ruining the fun of others.

It is also sad that none of the Boston guards would deal with such douchebaggery. We may need some baby-sitters in Boston to give special care for the immature population, if Boston is to remain “safe”.
Forum thread
Forum thread

Salem’s Latest and Greatest Fashion- This is halloween

Congratulations to those who entered the spirit of Salem and Halloween by posting these extremely fashionable costumes!

Trisda (inspired by Sevenless) showed us this extremely witchy lady’s outfit. Terrifyingly stylish. These player’s wardrobes are clearly ready for incoming witchcraft updates.

Jorb‘s costume is simple yet effective – this would scare off any visitors to his claim more than the threat of the God Fork. Or is he summoning the God Fork in some arcane ritual in this picture?

Spazzmaticus, a well known fishing enthusiast, dressed for the occasion. We hear he spends 90% of the time dressed like this now, as his previously full wardrobe was recently sold off. Goes to show that even a simple outfit can be made much more stylish by the addition of simple accessories.

Forum thread

Synnværd’s Saga



There was a man named Synnværd, who was the son of Krystun The Wall-less, and he dwelt in Phallodelphia until it was destroyed by unknown enemies while he slept. Synnværd was tall and strong, skilled in battle, but quick to anger and very proud. He was known to many as Vigilance, for he was always alert.

Synnværd slept for so long that all evidence of the destruction of Phallodelphia dissipated, so he decided to move to be close to his friend Karl-Evert. By chance also living nearby Karl-Evert was a humble farmer whom Synnværd had known as a friend in the Old World, Gunnar. Finding Karl-Evert’s homestead abandoned and rather inhospitable, Synnværd decided to live with Gunnar, who welcomed him happily with an exhilarating bear wrestle and a hearty feast.

It happened that during the feast Gunnar mentioned that a group of bandits had moved in nearby, known to the world as The Ragers Of the Lumberwoods (TROL). They had threatened to take control of his land, and threatened to rob him, but being a man of calm character, Gunnar was not worried and knew that he would be strong enough when the time came. Due to earlier conflict with a town called Trinity, Gunnar could have simply handed the coordinates of The Ragers’ fortress to any number of powerful kingdoms, but being a man of honour he did not.

When Synnværd heard of these TROLs, he became excited at the prospect of battle, and picked up his axe and ran out of the feasting hall. He had long wished to kill Yasso, leader of the TROLs, and also Coonman, a very loud mouthed and annoying TROL. Gunnar, not understanding what Synnværd would do, decided to continue building the wall around his farm as preparation for battle sometime in the distant future.


The Ragers of the Lumberwoods

There was a cunning warrior known as Jordan Coles who had recently arrived in the New World. He decided to live with the TROLs, since they were very impressed with his fame in the Old World, and he planned to use them to become powerful here as well. He was great friends with Synnværd due to their shared love of battle, and he was labouring inside the TROL fortress when he saw Synnvaerd approach.

Greeting each other warmly, the two warriors came up with a plan. Synnværd stripped off his clothes to appear similar to the notorious child killer Chief Poop, known for being unable to kill any decent players. At the same time Synnværd called to Gunnar for support, asking him to help him.

Jordan Coles then attempted to wake up the other TROLs, but the only two who answered were Coonman and Arcanist. However they did not leave the fortress, being too scared of Synnværd dressed as Chief Poop to try to fight. Instead Coonman sent a message to Gunnar, who had been overtly friendly towards the Ragers, asking for his help in killing Synnværd.

Gunnar replied saying that he was coming to help, and that Coonman should be ready to help him fight off the attacker. When Gunnar arrived, he pretended to fight Synnværd outside the fortress for a long time, until Coonman worked up the courage to come out. Synnværd then ran from Gunnar and Coonman, turning around once they were far enough from the fortress.

Being a coward, Coonman then fled, abandoning Gunnar and Arcanist to what he must have thought was certain death. So Gunnar and Synnvaerd tried to pull the same trick again, fighting for a much longer time and making it seem that Synnværd was losing and was rather weak, in plain view of Coonman and Jordan Coles cowering inside the fortress. It was at this time that Arcanist was struck to the ground.

The Death of Coonman

Once more, Coonman decided that the odds were favourable enough and charged out of the fortress. This time, once he was far enough out of the fortress, Gunnar swiftly attacked Coonman. Surprised, Coonman was stabbed several times by Synnværd before fleeing, only to be felled by Gunnar’s sword. Synnværd then taunted Coonman and separated his head from his body as he begged for mercy. Part of this battle can be seen in Coonman’s video, “Gunnar-Dallane Gank”. He appears to have thought that Synnværd was in fact another infamous man, Dallane. He also accused Gunnar of using witchcraft to “change his damage.”

“The Derpfort” – lead Architect: Vigilance

After the battle was won, Gunnar and Synnværd realised that Gunnar’s farm was completely vulnerable to attack while they were sleeping, if Yasso or any other Ragers were to wake up and take revenge. Synnværd took it upon himself to fortify the farm while Gunnar slept, with disastrous results for Gunnar’s agricultural pursuits and the aesthetic balance of the place. It is now known as the Derpfort.

When Yasso discovered that his beloved Coonman was dead, he flew into a rage, and vowed that he would break into the Derpfort and kill Vigilance and Gunnar while they slept. Luckily Gunnar heard of this and practiced very hard at both armed and unarmed combat, and managed to drive Yasso and his henchman Tim from the walls merely by being awake. When Synnværd awoke, he and Gunnar went to challenge Yasso and Tim to a duel to the death. However long they waited, Yasso and Tim did not emerge.

The Deaths of Yasso and Tim

Synnværd became bored and went back to sleep, and Gunnar pretended to sleep outside the Rager’s fortress, but still Yasso would not attack him. Eventually Gunnar truly fell asleep from boredom, as did Yasso and Tim, but then Synnværd awoke, and after gorging himself on delicious pumpkin pies, battered down the walls of The Rager’s fortress and killed Yasso and Tim single-handedly.

The Deaths of Gunnar and Synnværd

The next day, due to the death of Yasso, Jordan Coles discovered that Yasso’s relatives in Boston had revoked the privileges he previously enjoyed on Yasso’s claim, and decided to put the next part of his cunning plan in motion. Knowing that Synnværd had many enemies, he decided to make a forum thread about his predicament. Yasso’s relatives were contacted by soldiers from the town of Gallows Hill, lead by Mushibag. Yasso’s son, also called Yasso, handed the coordinates to Mushibag, who led a platoon of soldiers to the Derpfort, easily breaking inside and killing both Gunnar and Synnværd for their crimes. Thus Jordan Coles’ plan came to fruition, and he announced the founding of the town of WOW stop, and that he was now the King of the region, as every other developed colonist had been slain.

This was related to my by my father, the Gunnar in this tale, and thus his good name is attached to the article. I have inherited his claim, and Gallows Hill have returned his beloved hat and mask to me. To my knowledge, The Ragers of the Lumberwoods have finally been driven from the New World, although they have vowed to return once more scientific progress has been made in this as yet barren land. I await their return, while sharpening the sword that once belonged to Yasso. Vengeance will be mine. Meanwhile Jordan Coles sits safe for now, atop his throne of blood.

– Skarphedin Gunnarson

Forum thread

Misplaced posts

Forum thread



lennfinnan, the famous explorer who always brings something new to the community, brought us another great sight-seeing spot: a hill fort!

The town on top of the hill seems to be located wisely to exploit a rise in elevation for a defensive advantage. It would take a lot of phlegm to even go in and out of this fortification. For the people who live there taking a walk outside the walls must not be easy, that is unless the residents are either very high-leveled humoured players, or lock themselves in their own town and only visit Boston for interacting with others. A very interesting site indeed, and let me applaud the builders with respect!
Forum thread

illertomas has offered a 1200s bounty on HopeSlayer‘s head for raiding his iron mine on a daily basis. HopeSlayer was not aware of who killertomas was, and proceeded to offer double the silver to anyone who could track him by using the scents killertomas has. Hopeslayer puts up this offer with the claim that he has never left scents for his iron. The bounty was, however, put on hold as killertomas said “im not stupid enogh to attack it. atleast not for awile(sic)”.

killertomas is known for his claims of being a constant scam victim, with at least 3 instances known to the public. He is also known for complaints against other merchants, badgering them to keep their prices high. He may have been scammed before, but I cannot be sure if all of his claims and complaints are true, especially after seeing how he talks in IRC, with his constant spamming, along with his “let’s fix prices” talks. It is possible that killertomas was only accusing HopeSlayer because they sold the same percentage ores, however, it is also possible that HopeSlayer is pretending to be innocent. Or, it also may be possible that someone is pretending to be HopeSlayer, causing the easily deceived killertomas to accuse the wrong person.

On his bounty thread, he is asking for the taker to present absolute proof of the killing with either photographic evidence, or a video of his death, even though he has yet to provide any evidence of the crime scene at all. The story still remains a mystery, since he continues to refuse to present us with the evidence, and the coordinates he claims to have tracked to.
Bounty thread
HopeSlayer’s trade thread
Misplaced posts

olesie, or JordanColes, is asking to be oathed in order to be a Boston citizen so that he could level around the Boston town bell. But I’m afraid that the Boston mayor would not approve him either for his dumb attitude, or perhaps maybe for his horrible taste in music. “He shall have to live with the not-completely-flat town center as a visitor,” the Bank teller sighed.
Forum thread
Music thread

hief Poop has started a new trend. He lures unsuspecting new players outside the Boston claim, and proceeds to kill them. Afterwards he eagerly hounds the forum, waiting for a new post relating to the player’s death to appear. He then begins to troll the thread, offering ranging services for his own head. This trolling seemed to be a challenge to forum moderation.

The first noticeable victim of this sad attempt for attention seems to be ramuller. He was lured outside the claim, killed, and proceeded to make a thread about his death. Shortly after Chief Poop made an appearance in the thread, and began his trolling.

The second victim appears to be a player named Boogin, who is now trying to find a place to settle after his death. Just like ramullar, he was lured outside the Boston claim, believing he could buy a cheap backpack. Chief Poop once again began to troll Boogin’s P&P thread, with his familiar trolling.

However, it seems that Chief’s challenge appeared to have backfired on him in the end. The banhammer was turned into a guillotin, and Chief shall never be seen on the forums again, although players may still be in danger of his in-game tricks. That is, of course, if he still finds killing newbs as fun without the attention.
ramueller’s Forum thread in CuH
Boogin’s Forum thread in P&P

any pilgrims are worried about the steady decline of population in Salem. Some place this blame on the perma-death and PvP, raiders are killing off new players and discouraging from the game, before they even begin. Others believe that the unfriendly nature of the UI and client are to blame for this decline. Even more find that the real cause is the unfriendly community. Nevertheless, the real culprit is the lack of content, there is just not much implemented to play with.

Espionage or just plain Stupidity?

Death to spies
Folks murdered
Devious plots thicken
Over the Blind King

An attempt at raiding is carefully camouflaged, sugar coated as rescue mission. Rangers turned raiders or otherwise? Or was the whole thing just a farce to finish off the notorious noob killer, Chief Peepookaka?

A rescue message was sent out by Raoul_Duke, a member of Blind The King town (BTK), stating that he was being held by the villainous villagers, begging for help with a bounty of 10k silver for BTK’s destruction.

Bait, Salem’s famous ranger, accepted the contract. This was later revealed to be a grim prospect for BTK’s citizens as Raoul, the supposedly wronged victim, and Bait were actually on the same boat and had worked out the plan for BTK’s demise a long time ago.

Casus belli being a spy from BTK had infiltrated their town, Bait, Staxjax, Dallane, and others had come up with a counter scheme in which Raoul plays the bug while Bait comes in as white knight on horseback. In defense of BTK, gregl26, said, “I fully admit I made a post to join towns. I wanted to see what setups other ppl had. I was impressed by your town btw.”

But is this statement as innocent as it appears?

Both sides claim victory and casualties at one point ranged from 2-1 in favor of BTK to 5-1 on Staxjax’s side. A short interview with baronbowden, mayor of the besieged town, helps shed some light on the matter:

  Blackadder: A couple of your ss, something about the current siege and some of Bait, Dallane, the Chief, Staxjax and Raoul if you have. And a detailed account of the story if you please.
  Baronbowden (whole story from BTK’s point of view):”-Raoul_Duke contacted us through our recruitment forum thread approximately 5 days after we booted Pain with a story about how he was comming back from alpha testing and wanted to play in a group.
-Let him in and gave him access to my claim until he got set up with an assigned claim.
-We fed him (treated him like all new recruits essentially) went inactive very quickly after joining, would show up briefly once a day for a few mins. Said he was looking for work etc.
-I log out one day when he is in and log back in 4 hours later and my entire claim has been cleaned out. Everything.
-We know its him but nobody witnessed the actual crime (were busy on their claims) so we wait a few days to see if he even bothers showing back up.
-He does so I explain over skype he is being removed from the village over theft. He denies etc.
-Posts the bounty for 10k.
-He attempts to sell the contract to the chief but we happen to have friendly trading relations with chief so he declines to take the contract
-Bait who is actually in Raoul’s village pretends he is taking the contract since the chief wouldn’t and pretends its because we have done wrong by kicking out Raoul from the village and Pain
-3 days later or so Raoul logs in comes to my claim and asks to be let out of the village (we had changed keys) I say sure, he attacks and bait comes through a gate.
-They camp a claim trying to get us to Duel them we decline with farming chars.
-We stay inside walls they wander around all day until we log.
-One of our other actives Logs his combat char tries to take on 2-3 of them (they say it was only two which is possible) and dies. 60 humour murder alt.
-Next day they come back start razing inactive claims on the outskirts of the town. We stay inside claims avoid giving scents get them to keep having to bust onto our claims.
-While breaking down a gate mushibag KO’s. (100 humour char)
-We cement an alliance with Chief by giving him the kill (since he has so much drama with them) and avoid losing another murder alt to scents.
-They try and abuse a mechanic by pilling up dead alt bodies around the char they are trying to protect. (Bait Dallane Mushibag) unsuccessfully
-Mushibag’s alt dies too
-Stax and his town come clean that they had stolen everything from my claim and pretend they did it because greg having a spy in their village. To my knowledge this isn’t true. I can confirm he did join them because he was thinking about leaving us due to pain’s leadership. He definetely told them about the char and was booted out after we had removed pain and he no longer wanted to leave.
-Pain alleges he set them up to this. They havn’t confirmed.
-We moved valuables offsite to a secret location we had already prebuilt. Business is back to usual but now with full intentions of not forgetting stax’s band of griefers.”


As I type these words the siege is still raging on, although Baronbowden states that his town will stand against the bullies of Salem. Chief Peepookaka, still a noob killer and an enemy of some, has honoured his alliance with White Men in defending the town, killing several alts in a skirmish. Mushibag and Raoul of Staxjax’s town were slain in midst of the chaos.

A question still stands: Will there ever be true rangers in Salem or just a collection of rag tag soldiers who are bored and find amusement in others’ miseries?

Eventually, Painhertz, the notorious butthurt old man of Salem, has given hints of his help in this shamble. His reason being a sweet revenge on the backstabbers of his village. Pain was BTK’s headman and, as I suspect, a loud mouthed man as well. Stay tuned for more juicy drama and remember, payback is a bitch.